Summers in Maine

by Carla Morton, CEO

I just got back from 10 days on the coast of Maine. 10 days on the coast of Maine adds 10 millimeters to my body, 10 more points on my cholesterol, and takes 10 years off my life expectancy.

Let me explain.  I love Maine.  My husband is from there and his family lives in Brunswick.  So, for the last 15 years we have visited almost every summer.  Our summers in Maine are exactly what you might imagine from an idyllic trip “Down East”.

My in-laws own two summer cottages on a private island built in the turn of the century.  The cottages sit at the top of an old stone pier, are surrounded by fields, woods, old out-buildings, and small private beaches.  Our days are filled with exploring the grounds, motor boating and “tubing” in coves around the island, reading books on a deck overlooking the water, lobster bakes, laughs and movies projected on a big sheet into the late evening hours; all with a group of about 13 aunts, uncles, cousins etc. My husband, daughter and I camp out on a screened in-porch.  We listen to the thunderstorms at night or the lobster boats early, early in the morning. Sounds perfect right? Seriously, this place would make Martha Stewart swoon.

Here is where the misery arrives.  My mother-in-law’s cooking.  She is an AMAZING cook but each year I feel like I am taking part in 10 day experiment for “Fast Food Nation.” Actually, let’s call it “FAT Food Nation”…

I am used to Northern California, clean eating.  I throw stuff on the grill all year long and thoroughly love healthy food. Don’t get me wrong; I am not that neurotic about food. I certainly enjoy a hamburger, pizza every so often, and dessert when I’m out to dinner.  But, since I didn’t get the skinny gene (as my brother, mother and sister have) I will admit that I do have to watch what I eat.

So, back to my mother-in-law.  As I said, she is an incredible cook but the notion of anything grilled, steamed, light or low-carb just doesn’t exist in her epicurean vocabulary. 

A typical day in Maine looks like this:

Breakfast

Pastries, or some buttery, cheesy, hammy and eggy casserole (too yummy to stop at just one serving)

Lunch

Crab salad on hot dog rolls for lunch. (Now…you have to have three of these crab-hotdog-rolls-to feel satisfied)

Kettle chips

Huge, freshly baked cookies, 5 flavors (I have to try a little taste of all of them.  Hey, if I only take a ¼ of each it doesn’t count really. Right? Neither do the nibbles of cookie I break off later on as the day wears on and the sugar levels in my blood stream start to dip)

Pre Dinner Appetizers

I would serve some heirloom tomatoes with fresh buffalo mozzarella, fresh basil

But no… my Mother in law serves:

Little cheesy buttery shrimp wedges that are cut into teensy triangles (They are so good and so small, I have to eat about 20)

Dinner

Some sort of buttery casserole thing with heavy cream and butter soaked Ritz crackers sprinkled on top

Small salad

Blueberry Muffins (at Dinner!)

Freshly baked Brownies picked up from a bakery that ship their famous brownies to the White House.  There are 20 brownie varieties cut into little squares.  Once again, especially since I don’t eat or buy this stuff at home, I have to try ALL OF them and since they are so small they don’t really count… Oh, don’t forget the Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream on the side.  There are 4 flavors...I have to try them all as well because I usually only buy Sorbets and since I am this far gone, I might as well give in.

I am feeling sick.

Tomorrow I won’t do any sugar.

Yeah right.

One might think I could get a break. But since 3 meals a day are planned with family, I can’t get away from it.

One night my Mother in law says, “I’m going to take a night off of cooking and order in.”  She orders Kentucky Fried Chicken

(Are you kidding me? My arteries are going into shock already! Isn’t anyone else craving a salad and a grilled piece of fish around here???)

Next day we take my brother in law’s gorgeous boat around the Five Islands Area of coastal Maine.  Nothing could be more beautiful. I am so lucky.  Lounging on the front of the boat, I notice that my new bikini is now cutting into my growing hips... (I’m not at all surprised).

Lunch

We stop at a Lobster House; picturesque, right on the water... friggen amazing.

Menu

Fried Clams, Onion Rings... Fried Haddock, buttery mayonaise-ey crab roll… you get the picture.

I’ll have a Caesar salad with grilled chicken (and some onion rings) I have long ago let go of the glaring looks I get for not being a real Mainer and ordering Maine (buttery fat)  food.

Here is the best part:  When I travel and I am around a bunch of people, I can’t… um...go to the bathroom…if you know what I mean.  Can you say…backed up?

Okay, this is one of my ONLY hang-ups but it’s not a good one, I know.

So after 10 days and only 4 trips “to the bathroom” you can only imagine how sick I feel.

I am so happy to be back to my egg white omelets, almonds, grilled chicken, fresh salads and… my own bathroom.

Comments

[Judy G]

I feel your pain. My husband & I spent 10 days in Maine after we dropped our daughter off @ camp. We started in Bar Harbor, Camden, Rockland, Port Clyde, Northeast Harbor, Portland and all the other small towns in between. We ate ourselves through Maine. Ate at the best restaurants and all the ones that my husband researched on-line @ food.com. I am now 10 lbs heavier and have enlisted myself in "Bootcamp" @ my gym. It is a grueling 30 minutes of intense cardio and 30 mintues of weight training. In addition, I am doing the Dr. Siegal's Cookie Diet. Hoping that it will satisfy my cravings for sweets, chocolate & cookies. With the diet you can have up to 6 cookies during the day and then a well balanced meal for dinner. That lasted for about a week. I did cheat because I couldn't stand eating anymore of those cookies. I wanted real food. It was hard during the weekends when we would go out to dinner. I'm still forever trying to loose the weight. It's not easy anymore when you're 40 plus years, but I won't give up.....until I'm back in Maine.

[Jules]

i gained 3 pounds reading this.

[Mainer in Exile]

Haing been 'raised in Maine', I can 'taste and smell' most of your visit! I've added a couple of my own, and found that both 'at home' and 'out to eat' are more than willing to 'hop on'- with little or no discussion of WHY I'm choosing that.... lime juice or vinegar with steamed lobster, the 'filling from those crab rolls' on a couple of tomato slices or lettuce, salad topped with a scoop of 'little Maine shrimp, sans dressing', steamed clams, again with lime or lemon slices 'squeezed' over the top. With mindful eating for most of the trip, having some whole fried clams and/or clamcakes is my free choice, without penalty! And my clothes still fit when I fasten my seatbuckle to fly home (Rockies. Have also discovered new food pub called Clean Eating... you might want to consider adding a subscription to a Maine mailbox.